I’m not a nice guy.  But, I do pride myself on being fair.   If I pick on someone, I expect them to do the same, there is no double-standard in humor.

However, where I find myself lacking in being a human is playing with the animals down by the watering hole (read: Xbox Live).  I believe that there are violations to which Xbox Live removal should be mandatory.   If I haven’t been talking trash, playing respectfully, there’s no reason to act like your mother never loved you.

Presented, for approval, are the Xbox Live Commandments…

1. Thou shalt not send invites for Xbox games after the sequel has been released for Xbox 360.  It is beyond comprehension.
2. Thou shalt not send invites while someone is “Watching DVD/Movie”.  It is akin to talking during a movie in a theatre.
3. A maximum of two invites are permitted to a gamer currently engaged in a match.  It’s possible during the aftermath of the firefight they have forgotten about your invite and a reminder is permitted.
4. Thou shalt make use of the “Mute” function on the headset.  Talking on the phone or anyone not on Xbox Live while your headset is transmitting is grounds for booting from the party.  Nobody cares what ‘everyone’ is doing later.
5. Thou shalt respect the GamerChix (this applies to all women gamers, PMS, etc).  This rule does not supercede all other rules.  Exceptions to this rule are permitted for any gamer breaking the other commandments.
6. Thou shalt not mistake Xbox Live for a dating service.  This includes improper use of the video camera.
7. Thou shalt not take the game seriously.  It is a game.  Some people are better than others at playing the game.  Unless you get paid for playing games, bragging about how good you are via Matchmaking just makes you look silly.

These are in addition to the general Video Game Console Commandments, where you might remember such laws as the “Sweaty Hands” edict of 1986–any person with excessively sweaty hands, must supply their own controller.