Regardless of how many resume resources there are on the net, I have yet to find someone who knows how to write one. Here is a subset of my many resume peeves.

• Multiple Pages – I highly doubt you are so skilled and have achieved so many notable accomplishments to warrant two pages. Unless you are preparing a Curriculum Vitae, follow the KISS ASS method; Keep It Simple, Short And Sweet, Stupid.
  • Waste of Space - By merely handing me your resume, I understand your Objective — to get a job.
  • Nobody Likes You – There is no need to tell me your references are available upon request.
• Nobody Cares About Your Personal Life – A sure-fire way to not get the interview is to get way too personal on your resume.
  • Communication Breakdown – I will not hire DrexelShaft4U@gmail.com, DarkElven1@aol.com, or FansyPanties69@hotmail.com. Get a more professional email address, and don’t use the email address of the company where you currently work.
  • Instant Lawsuit – If you place an interest, hobby or organization on your resume that could be controversial, there can be grounds for legal action if you aren’t hired; regardless if you bombed the interview. Therefore, you will not be granted one.
• Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader – Proper grammar and spelling are a sign of fine craftsmanship. If you failed to perfect something you had plenty of time to work on, how am I supposed to believe you can follow-through on a task during crunch-time.